Which of my hobbies or interests disturbs you? Why?
Why do you feel that I engage in these activities?
Are you sure? How could you check out your perceptions?
Can you live with these activities? If not: How can we reach a mutually acceptable compromise?
Name 5 leisure activities that we enjoy doing together.
Do you have any interests or hobbies that you have not shared with me? What are they?
Do either of us spend too much time watching TV? Why do you think that is?
Why do you feel that I don't have enough hobbies or interests? What is the underlying issue for you?
Why do you feel that we don't spend enough time together?
Do you feel that we spend too much, too little, or just the right amount of time together? Why is that?
Ideally, in your view, how much time should we spend together?
Have you shared these concerns with me in a loving non-blaming way? If not: Why not?
What are you afraid will happen if we don't spend more time together?
Can you accept my need to spend time alone or with my friends? If not: What are you afraid of?
Do you feel that I place excessive demands on your time? If yes: Why do you think I do that?
What will happen if we spend too much time together? What are you afraid of?
How could you make better use of our time together?
Why do you feel that you enjoy yourself less now than in the past? Be responsible.
How do you think I feel about this?
Are you sure? How could you check out your perceptions?
How could you create more fun and enjoyment for us? Be specific.
Who is responsible for paying our bills? Who writes the checks?
Who will be responsible for paying our bills? Who will write the checks?
Have we adequately discussed this? If not: What do we need to discuss further?
Are you happy with this arrangement? If not: Why not?
Are you satisfied with our arrangements as far as individual and/or joint checking and savings accounts? If not: Why not? What do we need to discuss?
Do you know how we will handle our checking and savings accounts? Will they be individual or joint?
Are you happy with what we have decided? If not: Why not?
Do we need to discuss this further?
Are you satisfied with the way we make decisions about how to spend our money? Is there anything we need to discuss further?
Have we adequately discussed how we will make decisions about how to spend our money? What do we need to discuss further?
Do you have a clear idea of what our monthly income and expenses are? If not: Why not?
Do you have a clear idea of what our monthly income and expenses will be? If not: Why not?
Who is responsible for providing our income as a couple?
Who will be responsible for providing our income as a couple?
Are you happy with this arrangement? Why or why not?
Is there anything else we need to discuss regarding how to handle our income and expenses? What?
How might you improve your handling of income and expenses?
Why haven't you discussed all of your debts with me? What exactly are you afraid of?
Which of our debts cause you concern and why?
What can you do about it? Be specific.
Do you feel that we have problems using credit as a couple? If yes: Why is that?
Do you feel that we will have problems using credit as a couple? If yes: Why is that?
What specific assets and debts are we each bringing to our relationship? Include cars, property, furniture, mortgages, any loans, credit card debts, and etc.
How will these assets and/or debts be shared?
Are you completely happy with these arrangements? If not: Why not?
Have we discussed what would happen to our assets and debts and how alimony would be handled if we split up and/or divorced? If not: Why not?
Is this a very sensitive area for you? If yes: Why do you think that is? What are you afraid might happen?
In what specific way do you feel that financial obligations from my prior relationship(s) might cause problems?
How can you help to minimize any such problems?
Could you live with these problems if they remain unresolved?
What do you consider to be some foolish ways that I spend money?
Are my spending habits a major concern for you? If yes: Why? Can you live with them?
What are some foolish ways you spend money?
In what ways do our attitudes towards money differ? Why do think that is?
What were your parents' attitudes towards money? How did they influence you?
What were my parents' attitudes towards money? How did they influence me?
What are some of your conscious or subconscious beliefs about money? For example: Do you believe that money is the root of all evil?
In what ways might your beliefs about money block you from attaining your goals?
Do you tend to blame me for any financial difficulties we might experience? How could you be more responsible?
How could you improve your handling of issues relating to money?
Complete this sentence "We may be short of money because I..."
Complete this sentence "We may be short of money because you..."
If you tend to worry about money: Are your worries justified by actual income and expenses? Are you aware of realistic figures for these? How could you deal more effectively with these concerns?
What specific steps could you take to improve this situation?
What leads you to believe that I worry too much about money?
Are you sure? How could you check out your perceptions?
Are my worries justified by the facts? Be specific.
Why do you feel that you have difficulties trusting me with money? Be responsible for your own feelings.
How well do you trust me in other areas? Be specific.
Have you had similar trust issues in past relationships? Is there a pattern?
Do you have any difficulties trusting me with money? If yes: Why?
What are some of the goals and ambitions we share?
What are some of the goals and ambitions we don't share?
Are any of our important goals and ambitions incompatible? Are you sure? How could our "incompatible" goals all be realized? Be creative!
What leads you to believe that you do not often achieve your goals?
Do you hold yourself back?
Do you tend to have low self-esteem? How could you improve?
Name at least 5 of your most important accomplishments.
What do you really want out of life?
What leads you to believe that I often do not achieve my goals?
Do you think I would agree with you?
Are you sure? How could you check out your perceptions?
Name at least 5 of my most important accomplishments.
What do you feel I really want out of life?
What are your 10-year goals for income, housing, savings, investments, cars, travel, and etc.?
What do you feel that my long-term goals in these areas are?
How well do our goals match? Where do they differ?
Have we adequately discussed how we will both attain our long-term goals as individuals and as a couple? What do we need to discuss?
Do we save enough money? If not: Why is that?
How can we better assist each other in attaining our long-term goals?
